i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
