I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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