i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
