i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
