I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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