you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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