what day is it and did you see me today?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
