remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
