I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
