Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
