Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
