sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
