My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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