That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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