go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
