The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
