Porn is love you can see.
Nicole vs. Life
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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