nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I die, sorry about rent.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
