either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
