Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
