Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
