Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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