This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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