Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
