nut hugger
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
