Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I believe in your delicious
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
