i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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