Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
