Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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