Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
