we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
