Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
