That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
