i think i have herpe
just one?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
