Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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