I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
