Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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