I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
