Just cropdusted the office
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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