I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
