Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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