gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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