She said her name was "party"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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