i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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