that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Someone signed my nipple.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
