Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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