He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
