Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
