Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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