You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
