You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
