she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
