How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
